Photo by William Farlow on Unsplash
Much of what we observe taking place in society today seems to be related to the fight for personal freedoms. There’s nothing wrong with that in America, right? After all, the pursuit of happiness is one of the principles our Founding Fathers had a revolution over. Freedom of speech and expression are the untouchable stalwarts of American thinking, and there is little room for any censoring or guarding of how these freedoms are defined in the mind of the individual. Indeed, this current insurgence over personal freedoms is perceived as the progressive and politically right course. If individual preferences are denied or hindered in some way, there will be a consequence… or a lawsuit… or a protest with an explosion of media coverage, etc.. The rule of the day is this: If you keep me from living a lifestyle that is relevant to my individual desires and rights, then shame on you.
We are living in an era that the future may decide to name, The Era of Ambiguous Tolerance.
America has always been about individual freedoms, and I can’t imagine it being any other way. But those freedoms were always held in check by the ideal of The Common Good. Nowadays, what’s good for me must be good for the common, whatever that means. And the advocates who justify their causes the loudest must surely be the ones who know how we are currently defining The Common Good.
Can anyone see clearly anymore?
Observing such confusion, I force myself to step back to try and get a balcony view of societal dynamics. In doing so, I notice that a great many people are advocating very diligently for validation and recognition of their identity.
Acknowledging my limited frame of reference, I believe much of what we are seeing today has less to do with rights and personal freedoms; as it has to do with identity. After all, if our choices and preferences are validated, then it means the parts of us we wrestle with become OKAY. It is an identity crisis of sorts, and people are desperate to feel good about themselves. Don’t we want that for everyone? Of course we do. But in elevating this ideal, we’ve lost our way in a turbulent sea of tolerance. What keeps surfacing out of these uncontrolled waves is a stronger and stronger need to justify individual choice, regardless of how that choice may effect others. The view of a safe harbor is lost, and if there is a lighthouse or a buoy to guide our direction through the rough waters, we’ve lost sight of them.
Now, when societal validation arrives, (and for many, that day has come) we must wonder: are we really any closer to a satisfying, personal acceptance of our unique identities? Maybe we can believe that for a time; but I suggest that our identities are as fragile as they ever were. Maybe we can enjoy relishing our experience with those choices that are now acceptable, and have been justified, but do we yet know who we were created to be? I think not. And we will never quench that internal thirst until we begin to walk on the path of discovering the person God made us to be.
True identity surfaces from the depths of spirituality. The complexities of who we are will never be fully defined in the absence of a relationship with our Creator. St. Augustine said, “Our souls are restless, O God, until they find their rest in Thee.” And while finding that place of true rest takes a lifetime of walking the path, the discoveries along the way are brilliant, beautiful, and beyond what we could ever imagine.
We are wasting a lot of time right now, fighting for the validation of our identities as defined by our personal desires and needs. We risk sinking in that turbulent sea of tolerance as long as we think fulfillment can be found in that fight. Keep wrestling with society if you want, but soon you will realize that you are only dog-paddling to keep your head above water. Soon you will grow weary, because the ultimate destination remains out of reach.
Here’s the truth about identity: Jesus loves us inside and out. God created each and every one of us for a reason and a purpose. The Bible says that the hairs of our head are numbered, and that God has called each one of us by name. It also says that God’s thoughts toward each individual are more numerous than the grains of the sand. Now that tells me that God is intimately acquainted with the peculiarities each of our individual identities. I can’t fathom it, but I find this truth about who I am far more satisfying than the idea of defining myself based on my own desires and limited understandings. It is a journey. We are all still trying to determine who we really are. But God knows us to the depths and cherishes the individuality He instilled in us.
Lest you think I write this because I think of myself as this amazingly self-actualized, perfectly spiritual individual, let me correct that idea quickly. I’m on the journey, too. Like you, I seek human validation from time to time (though much less than I used to), and I always come up wanting when I do. I don’t relish the idea of my personal ideas and desires being marginalized any more than others do. I am regularly humbled and sometimes embarrassed by my secret thoughts and my thoughtless deeds. And if I were walking 100% in the identity that God had purposed for me, you would likely see a different person (perhaps more “do” and less “talk”).
But God is ever ready to extend the hand of grace, forgiveness and strength to me as He is to others. When we come to the Lord and ask Him to define us and to guide us in walking out the identity that was ordained for us before we were even in our mother’s womb, we come away with the deepest sense of satisfaction, knowing that our lives are in God’s hands, He knows and cherishes the person He created us to be, and that is all that matters.
